Lonely Luke Skywalker (
coolhandluke) wrote2018-01-09 03:29 pm
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Ahch-To, Baby
There were a lot of things Luke hadn't asked himself in the years since arriving on Ach-To. Some because he didn't want to know--or imagine--the answers. Some because there was no reason to borrow more trouble than he already had, and the litany of regrets was already long enough. Some because, well, they just weren't thinks that Luke Skywalker ever thought of.
Like the fact that he looked like some old Jedi hermit, complete with beard and unkempt hair and dingy robes. It hadn't exactly been part of the plan, but then, there hadn't been anyone to comment, or even a mirror.
That was the outside, however. Inside, something in Luke had died long ago, stopping in its tracks. Meeting himself, he would have assumed wisdom and calm, if a little eccentricity. But that hadn't been why Luke had come here, and it hadn't been what he'd found. No, it wasn't the Jedi Master who had retreated. It was the scared farm-boy, who'd flown too high and been brought crashing to ground. It was Luke from Tatooine, who had tried to be Master Skywalker, the hero, and failed.
That was what he'd been running from. That expectation, and his failure at it. That, and the disaster he knew his presence would bring to what was left of what he and the Rebellion had built, if Ben knew where he was. Better, he'd thought, to close himself off and shut down before he hurt anyone else. By his own hand, or by leading Kylo Ren to exact revenge.
It was not so simple a thing, however, to die. Unwilling to take any more lives, including his own, he lingered. Unwilling to open himself up to the Force, he nevertheless existed within it, his body sustained by it as much as by the food he caught. For awhile it seemed that he would just continue, in a sort of limbo of his own making, unwilling to make a move that would upset the galaxy even further than his presence already had.
Until she came.
Rey held a mirror up to him, one he wasn't always willing to gaze into but one from which it was impossible to escape--not least because she simply wouldn't go away. At first resentful, he quickly became resigned.
And then, suddenly, he became expectant. Not hopeful--he would not go so far as to say that--but there came a morning when he realized he would be disappointed to find her gone, given up. Despite his fear, despite his warnings, he wanted her to persist.
Maybe because he hadn't. And as much shame as he felt over that fact, the shame was at least an emotion. And as much as he'd tried to suppress those over the past years, the irritation at her arrival had begun to wear away at his resolve like grains of sand until emotions he'd thought long buried began to unearth themselves.
The truth was, Luke Skywalker was every bit the mess he looked. And yet, the longer she stayed, the less he could find it within himself to resent it. He'd been too long alone, and too long waiting. It only stood to reason that he'd bend to the first wind that came.
Wasn't how this had all started, to begin with?
The sun had barely risen when he took position, waiting outside the hut she'd claimed, unwilling to seem too eager but having to quash a small stirring of impatience, just the same. Warnings not to get too close, too attached, flickered in his mind's eye like a glitched holovid. But Luke had never once detached from anything--and if going to the most remote location he could find hadn't done it, he didn't know that it was worth trying, anymore.
Like the fact that he looked like some old Jedi hermit, complete with beard and unkempt hair and dingy robes. It hadn't exactly been part of the plan, but then, there hadn't been anyone to comment, or even a mirror.
That was the outside, however. Inside, something in Luke had died long ago, stopping in its tracks. Meeting himself, he would have assumed wisdom and calm, if a little eccentricity. But that hadn't been why Luke had come here, and it hadn't been what he'd found. No, it wasn't the Jedi Master who had retreated. It was the scared farm-boy, who'd flown too high and been brought crashing to ground. It was Luke from Tatooine, who had tried to be Master Skywalker, the hero, and failed.
That was what he'd been running from. That expectation, and his failure at it. That, and the disaster he knew his presence would bring to what was left of what he and the Rebellion had built, if Ben knew where he was. Better, he'd thought, to close himself off and shut down before he hurt anyone else. By his own hand, or by leading Kylo Ren to exact revenge.
It was not so simple a thing, however, to die. Unwilling to take any more lives, including his own, he lingered. Unwilling to open himself up to the Force, he nevertheless existed within it, his body sustained by it as much as by the food he caught. For awhile it seemed that he would just continue, in a sort of limbo of his own making, unwilling to make a move that would upset the galaxy even further than his presence already had.
Until she came.
Rey held a mirror up to him, one he wasn't always willing to gaze into but one from which it was impossible to escape--not least because she simply wouldn't go away. At first resentful, he quickly became resigned.
And then, suddenly, he became expectant. Not hopeful--he would not go so far as to say that--but there came a morning when he realized he would be disappointed to find her gone, given up. Despite his fear, despite his warnings, he wanted her to persist.
Maybe because he hadn't. And as much shame as he felt over that fact, the shame was at least an emotion. And as much as he'd tried to suppress those over the past years, the irritation at her arrival had begun to wear away at his resolve like grains of sand until emotions he'd thought long buried began to unearth themselves.
The truth was, Luke Skywalker was every bit the mess he looked. And yet, the longer she stayed, the less he could find it within himself to resent it. He'd been too long alone, and too long waiting. It only stood to reason that he'd bend to the first wind that came.
Wasn't how this had all started, to begin with?
The sun had barely risen when he took position, waiting outside the hut she'd claimed, unwilling to seem too eager but having to quash a small stirring of impatience, just the same. Warnings not to get too close, too attached, flickered in his mind's eye like a glitched holovid. But Luke had never once detached from anything--and if going to the most remote location he could find hadn't done it, he didn't know that it was worth trying, anymore.
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Even so....
"I'm sorry," she earnestly replied once he seemed to give her leave to speak again. "I know what I did was impulsive and foolish. I promise, I won't consciously do anything like that again without your permission, or unless I think it's urgent."
She didn't want to disappoint him. It had been a long time since she'd last worried about disappointing someone. Meeting Han Solo had been exciting, and she'd bonded with him remarkably well, but it had been over the Falcon. They had common ground. It was easy to bond. She and Luke had the Force, but... she couldn't exactly finish his sentences or show him workarounds, the way she had when it had come to Han and his ship. She couldn't bond with Luke.
But she wanted to. And that was where the fear of letting him down came in.
A little surprised when he suddenly turned and beckoned for her to follow, Rey nevertheless did so immediately. She knew she was walking on thin ice, and if she didn't want him to completely shut her out as he'd had when she'd first arrived to the island, she was going to have to head in the opposite direction and try to find a way to turn off this link she had to Kylo, rather than go seeking it out in others.
"Where are we going?"
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The irony of this statement uttered by him was not lost, but it also was more sad than funny, and he didn't want to dwell on it. He'd been so impatient, back then. So ignorant. And yet, the lessons learned had been vague and contradictory, even with long years now of meditating on his mistakes. In some ways, he was no closer to understanding the Force than he'd been in Ben Kenobi's hut. And yet, when Rey looked at him, he saw someone reflected in her eyes he did not recognize. He didn't know which he wanted more: to live up to that image, or to tear it down.
But this wasn't about him. The long she lingered, following him around like a shadow, the more he understood her own restless conflict. The fear of what welled up within her, mixed with a thrill he, too, recognized. The potential to make a difference, to change the balance. It was dangerous.
The path wore its way through boulders and outcroppings of rock, bordered with moss, until after several minutes it emptied into a saddle between two peaks. In the little bowl formed there, dirt had accumulated enough to let wildflowers grow, and the sight and sound of the sea was reduced dramatically from most other points on the island. Luke had discovered it shortly after his arrival, and in those first, dark days it had been a refuge from the relentless sweep of the ocean. Sure it had been thirty years or more since he lived on Tatooine, but there was a part of Luke that would never really get over his fascination with that much water--or his wariness of it.
It was nothing, really--a small depression with little white flowers dotting the green--but what Rey could not know was that he had not brought her here yet because it was his. He wasn't sure why he was doing it now, except in an attempt to do something, anything, differently.
Turning, he dropped to the ground, legs crossed.
"You can use the Force to communicate over long distances," he said, as if no gap existed between her question and his answer. "I've only ever done it during times of great necessity." Mostly because he hadn't thought about it until then. "And in my experience, it's only possible when you know who, or what, you're looking for. The life of every living being is visible to us in the Force, but to connect to one specific person, to communicate in words rather than merely emotion, takes control."
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But while she did look up to him, she couldn't pretend that it wasn't just a step away from madness, following after him like this without knowing where they were going. She meant that in the metaphorical as much as the literal sense. She could feel herself growing stronger and more focused whenever they were together, but it was a slow growth. Rey didn't want to learn the Force in inches. She didn't have time for that. None of them did.
But she didn't want to badger or upset him, especially not now after her little stunt. She followed along, resisting the urge to reach out to him either with a touch to his shoulder or a cautious nudge of the Force. She just... didn't want him being angry at her. She couldn't stand the thought, really.
When they arrived at their destination, Rey looked around, ears ringing slightly in the comparative silence from the ocean waves. The whole island had a lonely sort of beauty - anything that wasn't covered in sand and blistering sun was apt to be beautiful to her - but that particular spot felt especially lovely. Peaceful.
It must be the flowers. Rey had always liked flowers, especially the ones that bloomed in less-than-ideal conditions. Those were the only sorts she'd ever seen on Jakku, after all.
She watched Luke as he took his place on the ground, and she was going to join him, to sit across from him and soak up whatever lesson he had to offer, but she hesitated. He was answering her question, finally, but... he wasn't. Not really. And if she dug too deeply, it might make him suspicious.
"What about... more than words?" She knew it wasn't the best way to phrase it as soon as she said it, and so she didn't quite look at him as she slowly sat down, not so much directly across from him but adjacent.
"What about being able to see another person, along with hearing and feeling them? I don't just mean seeing them in your mind's eye, but... as though they're right in front of you, talking to you, even though you know they're not. Does that just take a little more control?"
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Which was, he reflected, a pretty stupid thought for an old man.
But she was so bright, not just in the Force but in her presence next to him. Even without the added senses, she'd aroused something in him he'd never thought to feel again. The desire for connection with another living being. She had spoken of conflict within him--and among the many, that was chief. He did not want to want her here. Did not want to need people. Growing up as he had, he had made friends late and held on to them tightly. Being alone, while not a natural state, was habitual. It was easier. Because Luke had never been good at moderating attachment, once begun. So what in the nine hells was he doing?
"Have you?" he asked, eyes slanting towards her face. "Seen someone, I mean." There was suspicion there, but not for the reasons she might have thought--he was thinking of Ben Kenobi, of Yoda. "There are those so powerful in the Force, so attuned, that they can project themselves into being. We are all the Force, and the Force is us. So, yes. It takes a tremendous amount of control to be one with the Force to the extent that it... takes your shape."
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But if Luke did know or suspect anything regarding her and Kylo Ren, he wasn't saying anything about it. So she was fairly certain that she wouldn't have to worry about being abandoned again just yet.
"So...." Short of explaining her situation and just why she was asking, Rey was having trouble getting the information she needed without arousing Luke's suspicions. Despite whatever he might think about himself, Rey knew he was a smart man, or at least certainly not an idiot. If she kept on with a certain line of questions, he's going to find out, and the fact that she'd tried hiding it from him would just upset him further.
"It can only be done with control? Not... accidentally?" Shrugging a shoulder, she looked down and explained, "I-... I've been having dreams. Or visions or hallucinations or who-knows-what. They're just... very realistic. Full conversations, small details on clothing, specific sounds and smells. I was just wondering if I'd stumbled onto something."
Or, more accurately, if someone had stumbled into her.
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She was hiding something, and he didn't know why. She'd seen a lot, this girl. He knew that. There was a well of loneliness fueling her desperation, her passion, her anger. He wished it didn't terrify him as much as it did. The only thing worse, he thought, would be if he wasn't.
"The Force can send visions. Dreams, if you like. The future, the past--it's not for us, necessarily, to decide why." And yet, they were only mortal. They had two choices: to act, or not to act. After that night, Luke was no longer certain which was the right one. The visions he'd seen, the future built by Kylo Ren... had he not brought it about by acting?
Or had he brought it about by not acting quickly enough? And who was he to teach this person?
"The Force is telling you something. Or, if you like, your connection to it has brought you in touch with some understanding denied to most people. Be very careful with it, Rey. We might think we know what it's showing us, but don't make the mistake in thinking you know what to do about it."
It was happening all over again, he thought. Only he wasn't sure who Rey was in this scenario--Ben Solo, or himself. And she had only this broken old man to guide her, not even a real Jedi like Obi-Wan or Yoda.
"But if it's showing you something, you need to listen. Is that what you were trying to do?"
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But he wasn't alone, and he was going to have to deal with that. There was another person on his island now, another person who had feelings and fears and who desperately needed clarity. If a legendary Jedi master couldn't grant her that, what could she do? Turn to the person who'd offered her answers, even if there was a good chance it had been little more than a lie to get her to embrace the darkness?
No. She was going to fight Kylo Ren tooth and nail on this, and she was going to use Luke to do it. He deserved to know that his own nephew was appearing to her, his former student was visiting her at her loneliest and most vulnerable and was trying to-....
Except it didn't seem as though Kylo had been trying to do much of anything during their conversations, either. He'd appeared just as surprised and confused to see her as she had been to see him, that first time. So if this wasn't part of a plan, Rey needed the confirmation that this could just be a fluke, an accident, a sign that Kylo was desperately trying to find her and Luke and this was how his powers manifested.
She almost had that confirmation, until Luke claimed the Force was telling her something. So... they were connected. She didn't know how, or why, but if nothing else, she was fairly certain that Kylo didn't know, either. He'd been trying to use that to his advantage this whole time, but maybe she could use it to hers instead.
Just... carefully.
She debated telling Luke the truth, but in the end, decided that it was best to keep mum, at least while Kylo was still unable to see where she was. She could avoid the truth without outright lying to him.
"More like I was trying to understand it so I could stop listening," she admitted softly. "Or listen at will. It's been... distracting, looking around me and no longer being sure what's real. It feels like I'm going insane." And if she'd retained her sanity the entire time she'd carved out some semblance of a life on Jakku, losing her grip on it now was far from a good sign.
Looking at Luke and no longer being sure what kinds of answers she wanted from him but knowing she wanted something, she asked, "Is it always like this?"
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"You're not insane," he said, voice far more gentle than it had been. He was realizing that by putting her off, by trying to keep her from the pressure of destiny, he'd actually done something of the opposite. Just because he denied her did not mean the Force stopped in its tracks--and it definitely wanted her for something. Did he think he could stop that by denying her? He sighed. "I'm sorry. You came here for answers, and I... I can't help but wish you didn't need them. You don't deserve to be forced into a role you didn't ask for. You don't deserve to be expected to fix things. That's why I find it hard to give you those answers. Because you didn't ask for this, any more than I did."
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Leaning in towards him and looking at him with eyes every bit as determined as they were fearful, she concluded, "You're all I have, Master Skywalker. If you can't help me, then-...." She was almost in tears, and she hated it, but if nothing else, she felt she could be vulnerable around Luke. Even if he thought her tears foolish, who was he going to tell?
"Then I'm afraid. Afraid of where I'll turn to find the answers. Please, just... just give me something to hold onto."
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"You don't need a legend," he said, voice laden with sorrow. "Legends disappoint, Rey. Legends never live up to their reputation. The legend of Skywalker has caused more death and destruction..."
He looked away for a moment, collecting himself. What was it about this girl that could undo him so? Or was it merely that his heart was not as hard as he had tried to make it, such that the smallest chink was a fatal weakness?
"I've been reluctant to teach you because I have failed. I created a monster. And I will not do it again And yet, if I refuse, you threaten what? To fly to him on your own?"
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Or would she? Maybe General Organa had long ago lost hope and had just wanted to see her brother one last time before everything fell apart. Maybe she knew that Luke would be reluctant to leave the island, and was hoping to keep Rey out of harm's way while she tried to convince him to leave. She didn't know, and the fact that her certainty and resolve just continued to crumble the longer she spent in here made it frighteningly easy to lose that hope she'd been clinging to.
But then Luke's question shocked her, and she wondered how much of her dilemma with Kylo Ren Luke had been privy to all along. "What? No!" Except yes. Yes, that was what she might end up doing, but it wasn't a threat. It was a very real fear.
She moved from sitting to kneeling, holding herself up straight and intent as she glared at Luke, some measure of her determination sparking back into her eyes. "Snoke created a monster. And you'll have no hand in any other monstrosities. This is about my own weakness, not yours. You're Luke Skywalker, and whatever that might mean to you, it means worlds to me."
She'd heard his name even on the outer reaches of Jakku, and he'd been a wonder long before she'd even known to actively grasp onto hope and never let it go. Whatever stories might or might not be true, he was a legend, a hero, a beacon of hope for rebels everywhere, and that? That meant more than he seemed to realize. Would Kylo be so desperate to find him otherwise?
And yet....
"You're right; I don't need a legend," she admitted softly. "I need a teacher. A mentor. A friend. Because if I don't have anything anchoring me, I might lose my balance, and that terrifies me."
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How could that be? How could anything make up for the disaster Luke had allowed under his watch? And how could he guide the person in front of him, when he could barely guide himself without the rut of his daily routine to keep him alive?
"Leia... is far too forgiving," he said, though one could barely claim that as an obvious fault of hers. But as he spoke, he was struck indelibly by the similarity between her and Rey. Not Leia now, old and careworn, but Leia as the fiery, independent warrior he'd first met. Rey had her spirit and drive. And Luke was no match. He'd made the decision already, and this, all this, had been merely dancing around the inevitable, just as he'd done when Artoo had first shown him that hologram. "But I won't turn you away." He took a deep breath. "Sit down. While you can't count on other people to save you, I know the... the importance of an anchor in the storm. If it means that much to you, I'll teach you how to find me."
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And if he was willing to teach her how to strengthen a Force bond, maybe she could use this so-called connection to Kylo towards her benefit, and the benefit of the Resistance at large.
"Thank you," she breathed, smiling fairly cheerfully. "You have no idea how much this means to me. All of this."
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That said, it wasn't that Rey was not special herself. It would not have been just anyone he'd have brought here, or spoken these things to. But Luke was a hermit by choice, not by nature. He was not strong enough to turn anyone away, once they'd wormed their way under his skin.
The prospect of letting her in closer, well. He did not like it. He was, frankly, terrified of it--of the vulnerability, of what she might see, of what he might see of himself through her. But the alternative was looking less attractive all the time. What if, he second-guessed himself, by turning her away he aided in the creation of another Kylo Ren?
Could he have that on his conscience as well?
"I'm not sure you do, either," he said, shaking his head. She didn't know all that she asked. But he hadn't, either--and he would not have given up, regardless. "Close your eyes. Like we talked about before--reach out with the Force. Feel the energy of everything around us. The grass. The rock. The island. The birds. The water below, in constant flow like the Force itself."
He kept on like this for a few minutes, guiding her attention to elements in turn and encouraging her to focus on them. The better she was able to distinguish the various ways in which the Force interacted with both the living and not, the finer attuned she would be.
Finally, when he felt her calm, he shored up rusty mental shields so that she might not see all the way through him, and said, "Now, me. Focus on me, in the Force. Feel the energy flow within, around me. Between the two of us. Nothing else, yet. Just feel it. Until you can see how we are connected. Not because we use the Force, but because we live, and are all part of the same energy."
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As before, she could feel it all with his guidance: the light and the dark, the peace and the conflict, the joy and the sorrow. Everything around her had some place in the story woven by the Force, and while it would have been all too easy to get distracted by the fact that she still had trouble picturing her own place in it all, she focused outwardly, walking along the gray area in between it all that acted as the balance between the two extremes.
She only hesitated when he changed the lesson, asking that she focus on him. She didn't want to overreach, especially since he was right there, but he knew what he was asking. Taking a slow, deep breath, she did as he asked, visualizing that she was reaching out with her hand and feeling him there, though she kept her body still.
There was warmth there. Not just the body heat exuded by most humans, but an ephemeral sensation of more than a body, of a soul. Her curiosity tried to break in, to make her ask questions about the nature of the soul and whether a person's story truly ends when they die, but she kept it quiet. That wasn't the lesson.
She could live with that, all things considered. She'd rather focus on life than brood on death.
"You're warm," she murmured at last, once she got a firm grip on just what she was feeling. "Not in the same way as the sun. And not in the same way as me. It's close, but... it's different. Unique. Yours."
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That, and when she began talking, he feared that the feedback loop created by her seeing him this way, by the sheer gratitude of recognition, would be overwhelming if he focused only on that. As it was, the warmth she described washed towards her, mingling with his own sense of her, bright and stormy and so raw it almost hurt. The hurt was, however, the kind that made you feel alive and aware, rather than pain. The sort of feeling that reminded you who you were, of muscles and emotions you'd forgotten you had. It was something he could quickly become too accustomed to.
To hear her describe him, define his shape in her world, was a mirror held up to show someone he did not recognize. He didn't feel warm. He felt still and cold and ancient, worn like the rocks below where the surf had eroded them for years. Full of crannies and holes which caught nothing. Stagnant.
He pushed those thoughts away.
"Good. Now. Most Jedi can only sense feelings, emotions. Predict actions if they're imminent. Plant thoughts or actions in those who cannot resist. But with a connection, more is possible. Open your eyes."
He gazed into hers still keeping the vast majority of his private thoughts shielded, but allowing her to use the anchor of his eyes to focus on the thoughts he was willing to share.
"Look at me. Without practice, eye contact can help. Look at me, and try to her what I'm saying. Don't guess."
He formed a clear thought, something she would not predict, that could only have come from him.
Krayt dragons make poor pets.
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It couldn't stand that way for long. He had to have known that. It was as he'd said: everything in the galaxy exists because of both Light and Dark. He couldn't maintain that precious balance if he tried to turn his back on it.
It was easy to get distracted by what she could feel from Luke, but she knew she couldn't afford that, not now. He was giving another order, and so she had to focus, opening her eyes and blinking for a moment as though still sensing that brightness from behind her eyelids. When she was able to, she focused completely on his eyes.
They were nice. Blue. She didn't see blue eyes often.
She blinked a few more times, wondering where that thought had come from and thinking for a moment that that was the thought she was supposed to get off of him. She doubted it, though. Luke didn't seem like the sort of man who would try to convince young girls that he had nice eyes.
"What's a krayt dragon?" she asked, deciding that that must be it, since she'd never seen such a creature. "And how would you know they make poor pets?"
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But which way?
He was not aware of her observation of his eyes, only of her intense scrutiny and the way it made him feel more self-conscious than a man of his age should. Then again, he hadn't done anything like this is years. It was bound to feel... invasive.
He did notice she had freckles, and quickly shoved that away as an oddly inappropriate thought for an old man to have about a young girl. Well. A young girl who was actually a woman.
How do you think? His eyes crinkled with pleasure at her skill, and he smiled, that same warmth still flowing between them. And this time he formed an image to send her, of a young (though still quite sizable) Krayt dragon, snarling unhappily at the viewer whose gaze then turned to look at gashes in their own arm. A memory, Luke's own, from an ill-fated teenage adventure on Tatooine.
She was powerful. Intuitive. Like no one he'd ever taught before.
He tried not to enjoy that feeling.
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All things considered, if she was going to be that closely connected to anyone, she'd much rather it be Luke than Kylo. There was a warmth in him that she'd never sensed from his nephew, and it easily enveloped her now as they interacted, making her feel safer than she had in ages.
The sudden image gives her pause, so lifelike that she looked down at her own arm as though looking at the very gashes that a young and inexperienced Luke Skywalker had once received on his. She wondered if he still bore the scars from that, and she glanced over at him, briefly picturing what they might look like until she realized that, right, it probably wasn't appropriate to imagine what her teacher looked like under his robes, even if it was only his arm.
She took a moment to increase her focus, to hold on to their connection a little more tightly and see if she could respond wordlessly. Meeting his eyes again, she tried to pay attention to signs that he could actually hear her, hoping she wasn't just causing an awkward lull in their conversation. Did you want a pet that badly, or were you just trying to see if you could tame it?
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He regretted, slightly, any sense he might have given her of actually being injured, but it seemed to pass quickly and at her question he smiled ruefully. Her words came through loud and clear. She was a natural, not just in this but in all of it. So like Ben...
Had the Force sent her as the opposite, counter to his nephew? Was she the balance, now that he'd removed himself from the equation?
I'm not sure I knew at the time. I mostly wanted... a friend.
He might have been eroding all her fantasies of the heroic, mighty Luke Skywalker, revealed as an old hermit who used to be a young orphan desperate for friends.
This was not the way get them, if you were wondering.
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She'd never felt this close to a person before. And she'd tried, searching for friends and surrogate family ever since being left on Jakku. She'd felt close to Han, but their time had been brief and, ultimately, very different from this. This was almost...
... intimate.
It wasn't really a word she'd ever used, and even when thinking it, it had rarely ever been in a positive way. But she and Luke were talking like a pair of old friends, using a language more personal than speech could convey. If that wasn't a form of intimacy, she didn't know what was.
I know what you mean.
Contrary to his belief, learning that Luke had been lonely even as a young boy didn't shake her image of him. After all, there was a certain strength that grew out of loneliness. She should know.
I never really had friends before I'd met up with the Resistance. And even then....
She might be biting off more than she could chew, but Rey tried to piece together a detailed image of a small, orange and white BB unit, rolling along the desert sand and beeping happily, emoting more than she'd ever seen a droid emote before. She smiled softly as she shared that image with Luke, thinking he'll appreciate it.
That's BB-8. The one who started all this. I'd still be on Jakku if I hadn't decided to rescue them from a Teedo.
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But this, this conversation, felt dangerously close to acceptance of a sort he wasn't certain he could afford. Not and continue to eschew the outside world.
That's how I got involved in the Rebellion begin with. A droid carrying secret plans, a message from a princess...
He was smiling openly now, at the image of BB-8. Funny, how the Force had a way of working through astromech droids.
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It was such a startlingly random point of similarity that Rey couldn't help but laugh. To think that she'd gotten involved in all this in the same way that Luke Skywalker had been roped into the Rebellion.... It was an uncanny sort of thing to have in common.
And watching him smile like that, Rey felt even more connected to Luke; only it wasn't quite hero worship anymore. She didn't know what it was, but it was an affectionate, sincere sort of feeling that drew her in closer to him as she looked at him fondly.
I'll have to thank BB-8 for showing me the way to you.
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The notion of history repeating itself sat a little less pleasantly with Luke, given his particular history. Then again, Artoo finding him, while a coincidence in some respects, had a logical explanation--he'd been looking for Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Ben had only settled there because of Luke, little as Luke knew it at the time.
There was a part of him that wanted to lean into the connection, as if to wrap himself in it like a cloak, as if the chill of years alone would not soon leave and he was newly aware of it with her arrival. Had she not come, he might not have noticed, and would eventually have simply... stopped. He didn't see that happening anymore.
"I've never met anyone who could do that so quickly," he said out loud. "Complete sentences, images?" He shook his head. "The universe has a way of making sure people with that kind of ability aren't hidden forever."
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Of course, she wasn't vain enough to think that she could be the Luke Skywalker of a new generation. She didn't know what her place was, but so long as Luke was willing to help her find it, she'd be okay. She was always okay.
But then, Luke was claiming that she was more than okay and would have ended up that way even without that sort of intervention. There was a little wave of excitement that moved over her at the praise, but she managed to tamp down the worst of it, only looking quietly pleased rather than outright preening.
"Considering where I'd spent most of my life, I'm surprised I was found at all." Shifting a little, Rey sat a little more comfortably, looking at Luke curiously. "So... we'd be able to communicate that way from long distances, then? And eventually I could work my way up towards full visual projections?"
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