coolhandluke: (Default)
Lonely Luke Skywalker ([personal profile] coolhandluke) wrote2018-01-09 03:29 pm
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Ahch-To, Baby

There were a lot of things Luke hadn't asked himself in the years since arriving on Ach-To. Some because he didn't want to know--or imagine--the answers. Some because there was no reason to borrow more trouble than he already had, and the litany of regrets was already long enough. Some because, well, they just weren't thinks that Luke Skywalker ever thought of.

Like the fact that he looked like some old Jedi hermit, complete with beard and unkempt hair and dingy robes. It hadn't exactly been part of the plan, but then, there hadn't been anyone to comment, or even a mirror.

That was the outside, however. Inside, something in Luke had died long ago, stopping in its tracks. Meeting himself, he would have assumed wisdom and calm, if a little eccentricity. But that hadn't been why Luke had come here, and it hadn't been what he'd found. No, it wasn't the Jedi Master who had retreated. It was the scared farm-boy, who'd flown too high and been brought crashing to ground. It was Luke from Tatooine, who had tried to be Master Skywalker, the hero, and failed.

That was what he'd been running from. That expectation, and his failure at it. That, and the disaster he knew his presence would bring to what was left of what he and the Rebellion had built, if Ben knew where he was. Better, he'd thought, to close himself off and shut down before he hurt anyone else. By his own hand, or by leading Kylo Ren to exact revenge.

It was not so simple a thing, however, to die. Unwilling to take any more lives, including his own, he lingered. Unwilling to open himself up to the Force, he nevertheless existed within it, his body sustained by it as much as by the food he caught. For awhile it seemed that he would just continue, in a sort of limbo of his own making, unwilling to make a move that would upset the galaxy even further than his presence already had.

Until she came.

Rey held a mirror up to him, one he wasn't always willing to gaze into but one from which it was impossible to escape--not least because she simply wouldn't go away. At first resentful, he quickly became resigned.

And then, suddenly, he became expectant. Not hopeful--he would not go so far as to say that--but there came a morning when he realized he would be disappointed to find her gone, given up. Despite his fear, despite his warnings, he wanted her to persist.

Maybe because he hadn't. And as much shame as he felt over that fact, the shame was at least an emotion. And as much as he'd tried to suppress those over the past years, the irritation at her arrival had begun to wear away at his resolve like grains of sand until emotions he'd thought long buried began to unearth themselves.

The truth was, Luke Skywalker was every bit the mess he looked. And yet, the longer she stayed, the less he could find it within himself to resent it. He'd been too long alone, and too long waiting. It only stood to reason that he'd bend to the first wind that came.

Wasn't how this had all started, to begin with?

The sun had barely risen when he took position, waiting outside the hut she'd claimed, unwilling to seem too eager but having to quash a small stirring of impatience, just the same. Warnings not to get too close, too attached, flickered in his mind's eye like a glitched holovid. But Luke had never once detached from anything--and if going to the most remote location he could find hadn't done it, he didn't know that it was worth trying, anymore.
abalance: (Years of dreams)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-01-30 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Ach-To made for a different sort of loneliness from what she'd had on Jakku. On Jakku, there'd been no one around that anyone would want to associate with, but there had still been the hustle and bustle of other people around the outpost. Here, there was nothing but the never-ending roar of the sea, a sound that was so foreign to Rey that she'd had headaches the first few days.

Maybe Luke had grown accustomed to it, even if she couldn't see how. But that was perfectly all right. She could keep to herself and try her hand at staying out of trouble until Luke sent for her again. It wasn't how she'd ideally wanted to do her part for the Resistance, but if that was the only way to accomplish her goal without totally pushing him away, she'd say her goodbyes for the moment and find a quiet place to meditate on what he'd taught her so far.

So his answer took her off-guard, and she blinked up at him before shrugging, offering him a small smile. "I'm not sure, really. What do you do for recreation?" He had to have a hobby of some sort, or else there was a good chance he'd gone absolutely mad at some point and she'd just been unable to tell this whole time.
abalance: (Somewhere down this road)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-01-31 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
Rey wasn't sure why he was staring at her like that, given that the question had been straightforward enough. Hadn't it? She'd only been watching him for a few days, but that hadn't been nearly enough time to get a good idea of what he'd done all these years. He couldn't have spent that entire time just... surviving.

But his answer made her wonder if that was exactly what he'd been doing. Stunned and not bothering to hide it, Rey blinked at him for a few moments and remarked, "No, but if you don't do anything for fun, you're going to need one before you go insane. Do you swim? Draw? Collect interesting-looking rocks?"
abalance: (Courage don't desert me)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-01-31 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
She almost thought that he was just trying to be elusive - after all, how could someone not know what they enjoy doing to pass the time, especially when they have so much time to pass? But something about Luke's expression told Rey that he was being genuine with her. He honestly didn't know, and that-... that was sadder than she would have thought.

"Do you... know how to swim?" she asked softly, trying not to sound as though she was quietly judging him. "The water looks a bit choppy for it, so maybe that's not the best activity to try, but-.... If you have something I can use to draw, I can make make a few sketches for you. Or teach you some of the games I'd made up as a child. They'd probably be easier with two people, anyway."

Not that she would know, of course, since it would probably take her some time to even remember them, never mind being able to explain the rules to someone else.
abalance: (Finally home where I belong)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-02-01 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
"Games aren't just for children," she replied, her voice even. She didn't want to antagonize him, and she certainly didn't want to patronize him. Maybe they were just in very different points in their lives, but she couldn't imagine just sitting locked away in a hut all day, every day, for years on end. It was thoroughly depressing.

"You also didn't come here to sleep or fish, but you do those things. Because your body is telling you that you need to survive. And if you don't do something to make that survival worthwhile...." His body might just give out on him. Or his mind. And she couldn't take that.

"I've only just found you, Master Skywalker," she told him, giving him a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm not going to do anything to risk losing you. So I don't care if we have to weave baskets or pick flowers or build a whole new hut from scratch; we're going to find something to do together and you're going to enjoy it, whether you like it or not."
abalance: (Finally home where I belong)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-02-01 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
He looked exasperated, and she was about ready to let the topic drop and reluctantly go off on their separate ways when he finally relented. Sort of. But sort of was the best she could ask for from him most of the time, so she'd take it.

With a small grin, she told him, "You're not a bored toddler. You're a bored adult. Which is just as well, since I have no idea what to do with children." She'd had to grow up quickly, after all, and other than her parents, no one left children on Jakku, or at least not by the outpost where she'd made most of her living.

If you could call that living.

So she knew how to entertain herself with very little raw materials. Now it was just a matter of how to entertain herself and someone else, especially when he wasn't giving her any idea of what activities he actually liked.

"I want to talk," she remarked with a small shrug. "And get to know you better. And, of course, do as your sister asked me to do even if it involves enlisting Chewie's help to bodily drag you onto the Falcon. But then you'd hate me, and I don't want that. So talking will do, maybe over... breakfast? Did you have breakfast already?"
abalance: (Years of dreams)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-02-02 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
"About you," Rey replied simply, as though it was the most obvious answer in the world. Because to her, it was. He was a literal legend, so he had to have had some interesting stories to tell. And even if he didn't want to tell those, the mundane stories of his pre-Jedi years would be every bit as fascinating to her.

"Or... me, I guess. Or your sister, or-...." Her chest tightened a bit just at the oblique reference to Han, and she wondered how long it would take before that sort of reaction just wore away. She'd never lost anyone she cared about before, given how recently she'd begun caring about people. A potential father figure had much more emotional weight than an anonymous fellow scavenger or two.

"Or anything, really. I don't mind talking so long as it's with you."
abalance: (Courage don't desert me)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-02-02 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
The look she gave Luke when he claimed not to be known for his conversation was a perplexed one. Who was? Probably only people who talked too much, or about things that were irrelevant, or other negative aspects of conversations. She'd met chatterboxes before. They had a reputation for being just that, and she'd made it a point to avoid them whenever she caught sight of them at the outpost.

But then he picked up an egg and asked about Leia, and Rey heard it. The way he said her name-... no one's ever said her name that way, and she doubted anyone ever will. As far as she knew, she was no one's sister, after all. And she was certainly no Leia Organa.

"She's... the strongest person I've ever met." Not one of the strongest people, or the strongest woman; Leia was the strongest person Rey had ever met, period. The low, respectful way she spoke was proof enough of that.

"She's so dignified, but not in an uncomfortable way. You could talk to her. She encourages it, even if she won't shy away from telling you what you'd just said was stupid. But even when she's doing that, she's not being malicious. She's just being... Leia."

She thought about the very brief interactions she'd seen between her and Han, but her heart threatened to break, and so she cleared her throat and continued walking along as though her rib cage didn't suddenly feel several sizes too tight.

"Was she always like that? Even when she was a princess?"
abalance: (Years of dreams)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-02-02 09:16 pm (UTC)(link)
She didn't look at Luke as she spoke, remembering Leia and trying to ignore how tired she'd seemed after Han had died, how much older and more frail and how much less light there had been in her eyes. Was that what happened to people when they grew to care about others? Was that why Luke had chosen to hide himself away? Because it was better never to feel that spark of hope again than it was to risk it burning you?

When Luke replied, though, she looked at him, and she could feel a small smile creeping onto her face despite where her thoughts had just been. "Well, that's where he got it from. The garbage chute bit. Han had forced someone into a trash compactor when he and Finn had come to rescue me not too long ago."

Shortly before Han was mercilessly killed in front of us, her brain cheerily reminded her, but she bit down on her tongue and reached out for a few of the eggs in Luke's hands to ease his load.

"You first met her during a rescue op?" She'd known that the pair of them hadn't been raised together, but somehow, it had just never clicked that they might have met through pure chance at some point down the line. Unless, of course, Luke had known his sister was the princess before this had happened and had opted to go save her from danger.
abalance: (Don't turn back now that we're here)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-02-03 03:14 am (UTC)(link)
"Honestly? I know a lot of stories. It's figuring out which ones of them are true and which were made up for the sake of an audience that's the trouble."

After all, those who were predisposed to telling stories had especially loved telling them to an awestruck little girl, and as she'd gotten older, she found that certain people were still willing to say whatever they thought would keep the attention of a young woman. She'd found out early on that Luke's mechanical hand didn't have built-in blasters (or if it had, he'd been very good about not showing it off), so she figured a large portion of the tales she'd heard had been wild exaggerations.

Upon following him to his hut, Rey carefully set the eggs down on the nearest table she could find, not wanting any of them to crack. Once she was sure none of them were going to fall, she looked around the place Luke called home, wondering over the fact that it somehow looked even more impersonal than the fallen AT-AT that she'd claimed as shelter on Jakku.

"I know that Leia was a princess of Alderaan, before it was destroyed. Vader destroyed it right in front of her, to prove a point. Or because she'd made him angry. Or just because he could. You weren't raised with her, though; someone once told me that the Jedi wanted to keep the two of you separated because an old prophecy told Vader that a pair of twins would be his downfall, so he searched the galaxy looking for the children in question. Of course, it wasn't revealed until much later during that whole political scandal that Vader was Leia's father. And yours, too. I don't know if you'd known that going in, or if you knew she was your sister, but I do know that at some point you found her and met up with the famous smuggler Han Solo, and the three of you became some of the most important figures in the entire galaxy."

She paused for a moment, wondering how much of that vague outline she'd gotten right before adding in a lower voice, "And I know that you redeemed Vader, proving that no one is wholly irredeemable."
abalance: (Years of dreams)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-02-05 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Rey was more than happy to be told she was wrong, especially since she hadn't been the source of any of these stories and she was instead now getting them directly from the source. Or, at least, the source of a third of the story, with many arguing that it might have been the most important part. Somehow, though, she doubted Luke would agree.

She took the plate when he offered it, giving him a nod of thanks but not wanting to interrupt him as he seemed ready to burst to tell her about how wrong she was. It was sort of nice, seeing him actually care enough about something to want to make sure it was fully understood, not just because it was a lesson that needed to be learned but because of the sheer principle of the thing. Maybe that was why she had a small smile on her face as she followed after him, listening to him as he spoke.

"Heroes and legends are people at their core," she brought up, sitting cross-legged on the rocky ground. "Or droids, though I guess some could argue that they count as people too. It might be hard to keep that in mind sometimes, but history is written with every passing day. What the Resistance is doing today, win or lose, is going to be remembered differently tomorrow by whoever hears its story."

Assuming, of course, that the First Order didn't succeed in wiping out the entire galaxy in a mad drive for power. But she pushed that thought aside, tucking into her food as she thought over what he'd said.

"So you just... accidentally saw a message from Leia, never knowing who she was other than a princess, and left your farm on Tatooine - which, by the way, is almost as bad as Jakku, so you were one to talk when you called it nowhere - to go rescue her?"
abalance: (On a journey)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-02-06 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
The eggs were food. Rey didn't really have a lot of requirements when it came to food. So long as it didn't go back up again, she'd eat whatever was offered to her gratefully.

It was nice hearing about Luke as a young man, though she paused at the mention of an "Uncle Owen." She'd never heard of any uncle of Luke's, and she wondered if he was a biological uncle or just a man that he'd come to know as an uncle. Somehow, though, it didn't feel right to ask. Rey never was good at figuring out how to talk about family matters.

So when Luke fell silent, Rey didn't know how to respond, or whether she should respond at all. It seemed best to stay quiet, contemplatively chewing her eggs until Luke thought it fit to speak again. And when he did... well, at first she didn't know who he was talking about, but it soon became clear that this was just an even more complicated family matter than she'd anticipated.

"So... out of sheer coincidence, a princess who happened to have been your long-lost sister uploaded important war plans onto an astromech droid that found you and you somehow stumbled across a holo message from said princess and were inspired to go rescue her and destroy the Death Star. And you picked up a smuggler along the way, and ended up conducting a very poor rescue of said sister that resulted in you ending up in a garbage chute."

She was quiet for a moment, trying to digest all of that before seeming to just accept it with a small nod. The only question she had after swallowing another mouthful of eggs was, "Who are Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi and-... Ben?"

That had been the name Han had called Kylo Ren, hadn't it? Ben? It must be someone that had been important to him or Leia at some point, but while the other two names may well have been somewhat familiar in the mess of lore she'd heard over the years, she doubted she'd heard of a Ben before.
abalance: (Courage don't desert me)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-02-07 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
"... Kylo Ren was named after the man who trained Vader."

The realization was unsettling, and it explained at least part of why he'd been so desperate to emulate his grandfather. Rey didn't think families could get this complicated, and she suddenly found herself wondering if she'd been named for someone, and what sort of intricate dramas her closest relatives may have been involved in.

She stared down at the remainder of her eggs, frowning softly as she thought over everything Luke had told her. It was a lot to take in, but as she eventually managed to bring herself to glance up at him, she wondered if he wasn't just looking at it at the entirely wrong way. Of course, the same could be said for her, but....

"But that way didn't end with them. The Jedi have done too much throughout history to simply not exist anymore. That's why you're still here. And that's why we need you."

She hesitated for a moment before setting her plate aside and reaching out, gingerly placing her hand over one of Luke's. "You aren't an easy fix to the galaxy's problems, Master Skywalker. But your legend is a beacon of hope in dark times. The Resistance might not need the Jedi, but they desperately need hope."
abalance: (Years of dreams)

[personal profile] abalance 2018-02-08 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
Rey was confused for a moment before she realized that Anakin Skywalker must have been Vader's name before he'd fallen to the Dark Side. Though she'd heard whisperings of Darth Vader's name virtually her entire life, years after his death... she'd never heard of Anakin. She wondered if the same would happen to Kylo Ren, with the name Ben Solo being lost somewhere in history.

But Kylo Ren wasn't her concern, not now. Luke was, as was her mission to bring him back. Though really, if she were honest with herself, it was less about the mission at this point and more about making him understand why he was needed, even if he only thought of himself as some dour old man.

"Wanting a holovid to come to life is asking the impossible. I'm not asking you for the impossible. You're a person. And your story means something to these people. Flawed or not, just seeing you stand besides General Organa will be enough to stir something inside of them, something that will keep them fighting. And they need to keep fighting. This isn't about the Jedi or the Sith. This is about the Resistance and the First Order. And we can't continue to resist the tyranny of the First Order if we don't have a reminder of what we're fighting for."

Though she generally wasn't one for hand-holding and usually minimized physical contact whenever possible, Rey actually scooted closer to Luke, giving his hand a quick squeeze as though to emphasize her point. "I have been listening to you. You're a man; no more, and certainly no less. But don't you see that that's part of your influence? You had humble beginnings and stumbled across something far greater than yourself; these people, Leia's people, need to remember that the same can be said for them. Otherwise... we've already lost."

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